The picture below completely sums up what is going through
my mind after this weekend:
If you recall, that is the scene from Home Alone in which Kevin sees a picture of the current Royals stats (some are mentioned below), and goes "Woof."
Woof is right. Below is an updated graph of Royals fans' joy, as a result of being swept by the Minnesota Twins this weekend:
I will come right out and say what is on everyone’s mind: The Royals suck. They have the fewest runs, fewest home runs, fewest RBI’s, lowest slugging percentage, and the 3rd fewest hits in all of baseball. There is no other way to describe that level of awfulness except to say that they suck. The two players who are the worst of the worst are Mike Moustakas and Billy Butler.
I will come right out and say what is on everyone’s mind: The Royals suck. They have the fewest runs, fewest home runs, fewest RBI’s, lowest slugging percentage, and the 3rd fewest hits in all of baseball. There is no other way to describe that level of awfulness except to say that they suck. The two players who are the worst of the worst are Mike Moustakas and Billy Butler.
Moose is historically bad, batting .111 with 4 hits in 36 at
bats, plus 5 walks. More walks than hits?!?!?!? What the heck. Moose has had
problems walking in the past, so I guess that is fixed now.
Billy, who is being paid $8 million this year, is batting a
paltry .154, with 6 hits in 39 at bats, along with 8 strikeouts (that is $1 million per strikeout! Way to spend money Dayton Moore!). He is striking
out basically once every 5 at bats. He sucks. Everyone who watches the Royals
knows that if Billy makes contact with the ball, it is 110% guaranteed to
be a ground ball to short. And Billy is so slow that the shortstop could walk
the ball to the first baseman and still get an out.
No one is hitting the ball hard, and Johnny Giavotella, WHO
HAS ONLY PLAYED IN ONE GAME THIS YEAR, is tied for the team lead in batting
average with 1 hit in 3 at bats. The Royals as a team still only have 1 home
run. The team with the next fewest in baseball is the Yankees with 5. At this
pace, the Sonic Slam inning will become forgotten, having died a lonesome death
due to the fact that THE ROYALS SUCK. Maybe the cash can roll over to next year…
In positive news, the Royals still have the fewest strike
outs. By far. But who cares? The Royals will play the Houston Astros in their
next three games. The Astros just came off a weekend with 3 close losses to the
Texas Rangers. I am predicting the Royals get swept again and Manager Ned Yost says
that the Royals need more at bats before he adjusts anything. Like the Royals, Ned also sucks.
No comments:
Post a Comment