Marinating Seattle

The Royals defeated the Mariners 8-2 last night, their 12th win in June. Two more wins and they clinch their third straight winning month. In addition, the Royals maintained the American League’s best record, and are 3.5 games ahead of the Twins and 5.5 games ahead of the Tigers. 

The game can be summarized in the following:

First, Alcides Escobar gets hit right in the schmeck by a hard grounder and Neddie Yost has himself a chuckle. Then Ryan Madson continues his amazing comeback season with another strong outing to get his first major league victory since 2011. And Bat-Moose knocks in his 7th home run of the season. 

Some other notable stats from the game:

• That was the 14th series win of the season for the Royals (out of 24 possible series). They also have two splits.

• Since July 15, when Omar Infante was named the leading vote getter at 2nd base for the All-Star Game, he is hitting .395 with 15 hits in 38 at-bats. He also has 5 RBIs in that span.

• Danny Duffy pitched in his first MLB game in 39 days.

• The Royals have scored 4 or more runs 38 times this season, and their record is 34-4 in those games.

Up next for the Royals is the Oakland Billy Butlers, who have won 8 of their last 10 and are the hottest team in baseball despite being in last place in their division. Will we see Brett Lawrie get plunked again?

Wade Davis Don’t Look at Strikeouts

Last night was a typical but fun Royals game; a few hits scrapped together, lock-down pitching, and Wade Davis loading the bases with a 1-run lead, only to shatter the hearts of the lowly Milwaukee Brewers by throwing an unhittable curveball to end the inning. Wade has made it a habit to see how many base runners he can put on base without allowing a run, but even more amusing is watching him walk off the mound after striking out the last batter of the inning. Wade knows no one can touch his stuff, and he simply walks away as soon as he throws the final third strike. He doesn’t even stick around to watch the batter flail away with his bat, utterly helpless to make contact.  

This, in essence, is the pitcher’s version of the bat flip, and in a tribute to Mr. Davis and his phenomenal routine of walking away, below is an adapted version of the Lonely Island’s “Cool Guys Don’t Look at Explosions:”

Seems like these days the Royals are on fire

Fans keep blowing the votes up

And while all those Detroit Tigers and New York Yankees stand and Cardinals staring

Wade Davis has the nuts to walk away

Yeah

Wade Davis don’t look at strikeouts

He strikes you out then walks away

Whos got time to watch the batter whiff

Cause Wade Davis has errands that he has to walk to

Keep walking, keep winning

Don’t look back, keep on walking

Keep struttin’, slow motion,

The more you ignore it, the cooler you look

Wade Davis don’t look at strikeouts

He strides forward with a scowl on his face

He really just doesn’t care at all

And walks away in slow motion

Keep walking, you’re winning

Slider, slider… Sweet 4-seam fastball

Davis walks…

Holland Walks…

Herrera is wearin a hat!

Because Wade Davis don’t look at strikeouts

His pitches are hot but his heart is chilled

Walk fast from the boring strikeout

And don’t think about the hopes you’ve killed

Goat, or G.O.A.T

With the announcement that the Royals currently have 8 of the 9 starters for the American League team, it is time to play Goat, or G.O.A.T.? I made a video of my final standings below, but consider the following stats. Then watch the video. Its only 1 minute long.

Alcides Escobar: Esky has the 5th-best fielding percentage among AL shortstops, and leads the league in Amazing Plays by an Infielder. He also has the fewest strikeouts among the Royals' every day players

Mike Moustakas: Moose has the 5th-highest batting average in the AL, and leads the Royals with 69 total hits (11th-best in the AL).

Lorenzo Cain: LoCain leads the Royals with 37 runs scored and 11 stolen bases. He also leads all of baseball in Amazing Plays by an Outfielder.

Eric Hosmer: Hoz is an RBI machine and is tied for the team lead with 25 bases on balls. He is also WAYYYYYYYY better at fielding first base than Miguel Cabrera.

Kendrys Morales: Billy Butler has 4 HR's, 29 RBI's and 11 GDPs. K-Mo has 7 HR's, 41 RBI's, and 7 GDPs. He also leads the Royals with 18 doubles. Suck it Billy.

Alex Gordon: Gordon is smashing home runs left and right, and is second on the Royals with 8 round-trippers. He is also the reigning Web Gem of the Year for the catch he made when diving into the White Sox stands.

Salvy Perez: Salvy leads the Royals with 10 home runs and leads the team in slugging %.

Alex Rios: Alex hurt his pinkie

Omar Infante: Omar has not had an extra base hit since 2011

 #BeatTheBrewers

Sliding into your DM’s like a black bean burger

I am glad the Royals game was postponed yesterday. They needed a day off. In fact, they could use a week or two off because they aren’t playing that well as of late. So far in June, they are 5-6, and were 14-12 in May, good for a 19-18 record since the end of April when they were 15-8. I do not feel the need to regurgitate the reasons that they are not playing as well as they did to start the season, except to say that it is time to bench Omar Infante and Alex Rios. 

Rather, I thought I would post my recipe for Black Bean Sliders with homemade Yeast Buns, because my friends have decided to go Lacto-Ovo Vegetarian and Alcohol-free in July for some reason. It never hurts to be healthy, so feel free to use my recipe, which is chock full of protein, fiber, and heat, plus they would be a enjoyable to eat while watching a Royals game! And if you ever need any health or cooking tips, hit me up…

Burgers - makes about 6-12 burgers depending on how large you make the patties
Ingredients:
1 can of black beans, drained and rinsed. This removes some moisture, along with any added sodium, so the burgers will be low-sodium, high fiber, and high protein. Very healthy!
1/2 an onion, diced
1 tablespoon of chopped garlic
1 egg
1/2 cup bread crumbs
1 tablespoon of chili powder
1 tablespoon of cumin
1 tablespoon of chili sauce (I used Sriracha) - you can leave this out if you don't like spicy foods but I think it gave the burgers some great flavor and a little kick.

Directions:
After rinsing and draining the beans, mash them until they are thick and pasty.
Finely chop the onions and garlic and add them to the beans and stir them well.
In another bowl, stir the egg, cumin, chili powder, and chili sauce until it is well-combined, then add it to the beans and mix well.
Add the bread crumbs. I ended up using a little more than a 1/2 cup. Mix it well.
Let it sit for a few minutes so the bread crumbs can absorb some moisture, which will help the patty stay together.
Then form a patty. You can grill or bake them. If grilling outside, use high heat. If grilling inside, use medium-high heat. Since the beans are mashed, they will burn easy so be prepared for slightly blackened burgers (this won't affect the taste much). If baking, bake at around 375 degrees for 5-10 minutes on each side. I grilled and baked some and they both tasted wonderful.

Yeast Buns - makes about 8-10 buns depending on how large
Ingredients:
2 packets of yeast (alternatively, this is about 2 tablespoons)
1 cup of warm water (not too hot or it will kill the yeast - should be around 110 degrees)
1/3 cup oil - you can use vegetable or olive oil. I used olive oil because I like the flavor it gives to bread
1/4 cup sugar
1 egg
1 teaspoon of salt
3-4 cups of flour - you can use whole wheat or white. I usually use a mixture of white and whole wheat because using only whole wheat will make the bread sort of hard, and using all white flour will basically be like eating sugar out of the bowl (It tastes good but has no redeeming health value). With whole wheat flour you get some vitamins and fiber.

Directions:
Dissolve the yeast in the warm water, which means stir it until the water looks sort of like watery hot cocoa. Add the sugar and oil and let it sit for 5-10 minutes. You should start to see some foaming occur. The foaming will indicate that the yeast is alive and active and the buns will rise.
Add the egg and salt and mix well.
Add 3 cups of flour and mix well.
Start kneading the dough and add flour as needed. Knead it until it is smooth and elastic and does not stick to your hands. You may end up adding another cup of flour or more. It should be kind of like play-dough but more elastic.
Divide the dough into however many buns you want. I just tore off a handful of dough and rolled it into a ball. You will want them big enough to cover your burger patties so keep that in mind.
Let the buns rest for 10 minutes. There is no need for these rolls to rise much.
While it rests, pre-heat the oven to 425 degrees.
After resting and preheating, put the buns on a greased baking sheet and bake them for 8-12 minutes until they are golden brown and sound sort of hollow when you knock on them. Once cool, you can slice them in half and add the black bean slider patty. Bon Appetit!

I have never taken pictures when making these, but I can assure you that they look and taste great. Overall, it takes me about 40 minutes to make everything combined. Hope you enjoy!

 

KC Michael Jordans

The Royals beat the Twins last night for their third win in a row, hopefully marking the end of their recent slump. Royals' pitcher Chris Young only allowed 1 hit while Salvador Perez hit his team-leading 9th home run. Other notable happenings from the game include:

Salvy had quite possibly the greatest reaction (or non-reaction depending on how you look at it) to his home run in the history of baseball. No, the history of the world. He made no attempt whatsoever to watch the ball leave Target Field.  Just watch him at this link:

After Salvy's home run, some pathetic Twins fan came up with the ball and tossed it onto the field (which you can see in the video above or in this link at the 16 second mark). It reminded me slightly of the worst throw in the history of baseball. No, the worst throw in the history of the world, which was accomplished last season by Ryan Raburn of the Cleveland Indians:

After the game, Twins outfield Torii Hunter gave what is possibly the greatest quote in the history of baseball. No, the history of the world:

Quite a compliment from a man who currently resembles Michael Jordan more in age than in athletic ability. In the Royals 3-game win streak, they have scored 9 runs, good for a sparkling average of 3 runs per game. That will not win many ballgames in the long run, so I am hoping that after tonight's game, the Royals offense will wake up and the following quote will be uttered, this time from another old baseball player:

Let's see if the Kansas City Jordans can finish off a sweep of the Twins tonight...

SI is trash

Wow, Sports Illustrated you have really outdone yourself, you biased pile of dreck. I don’t think I will be reading you anymore. Not that I read you anyway, not even your swimsuit edition.

With your disgusting article making waves around the internet telling people who they should vote for in the upcoming MLB All-Star game, I thought it would be appropriate to tell people what magazines they should be reading instead of your BS.

1. Supernatural Magazine. Sports Illustrated is famous for cursing everyone who graces its filthy cover. So naturally, something better to read would be a magazine that helps readers find ways to reverse curses, or perhaps jinx the originator of the curse themselves. Current articles in the magazine include Hitler’s association with the occult, which is more interesting than the garbage that SI spews out
2. Highlights magazine. Everyone’s favorite method for killing time while waiting at their dentist’s office, this magazine “has been helping children become their best selves for more than 65 years.” Sports Illustrated, on the other hand, has been pushing a hidden agenda on sports fans for its entire existence (61 years).  In fact, in recent years, the only athletes or teams discussed in the pages of SI include Boston Red Sox, LeBron James, Mike Trout, Johnny Manziel, and Peyton Manning. I DON’T CARE WHAT LEBRON JAMES ATE FOR BREAKFAST AND WHAT SPORT HIS SON IS CURRENTLY PLAYING, but thanks to SI, millions of Americans can easily tell you these meaningless tidbits of info. If you want something better than mindless details about a handful of athletes, read Highlights. You can become your best self by doing so.
3. National Geographic. Since SI is incredibly biased and only discusses a few sports teams, readers are unable to learn more about the vast world we live in. Did you know that 2/3rds of the earth’s people have never seen snow? Or that there are more kangaroos than people in Australia? Or that Kansas City might have been named Rabbitville or Possum Trot? Of course you didn’t know these things if you are a reader of SI, BECAUSE THAT BIASED MAGAZINE ONLY TALKS ABOUT NEW YORK AND BOSTON. Pick up a copy of national Geographic and see what you are missing!

I can think of thousands of more magazines that would provide more tangible benefits and knowledge than reading through the crap that Sports Illustrated cranks out, but it’s time for lunch. I will be reading food wrappers instead of SI.