I have a PhD and Detroit sucks

    The Royals beat the Blue Jays again last night, putting them 2 games over .500 for the first time this season. They are currently in second place behind the evil Detroit Tigers who have played 3 fewer games because Detroit is a miserable city in the spring. I have never been there but you can trust me on this because I HAVE A PHD AND DETROIT SUCKS SO THERE.

    Despite the win, last night’s game was pretty frustrating for several reasons. First, we only got to see 5 innings of Yordano “Ace” Ventura. His stuff was a little off, and he basically did not throw any curveballs, but he still shut the Blue Jays out for all 5 innings.

    Second, Ventura’s replacement Danny Duffy was a total numbskull and was pulled after only two batters. He hit Melky Cabrera on the knee on the first pitch he threw, then walked Jose Bautista. See ya in Omaha.

    Third, Aaron Crow relieved Duffy and promptly allowed both inherited runners to score. Even though Crow’s ERA is 0.00000000, he has allowed pretty much every runner to score that he has inherited. Ugh. When I watch him pitch, all I can think of is this:

    Fourth, Wade Davis relieved Crow and promptly loaded the bases, including issuing a walk to Chris Getz, who has not had a base on balls since 2002 when he was playing high school ball. Davis redeemed himself by striking out the side, but sheesh, why did he have to make it so difficult?

    Fifth, the Royals produced only 6 hits against a crappy pitcher.  They were 2-8 with runners in scoring position, and Eric Hosmer was thrown out at home trying to make a play on a grounder to short when the infield was playing in. Stupid move and potentially could have cost the Royals the game.

    Sixth, Mike Moustakas went 0-3, dropping his batting average to .149, which is basically the worst of all everyday players in the MLB with at least 90 plate appearances. He sucks. Interestingly, the announcers pointed out two nights ago that Moose averages slightly over 4 pitches per at-bat, which is above the league average. So he is more patient now, BUT HE CANNOT HIT AN INSIDE PITCH TO SAVE HIS LIFE. It looks like he is trying to whack mosquitoes when he bats. He sucks.  

   

   On the positive side, Alcides Esco-baller stepped up with a HUGE hit that won the game. Nori Aoki continued playing like a boss at Kauffman. Greg Holland got his 7th save (which is 2nd best in the AL). Ventura’s ERA dropped to 1.50 which is tops in the AL. Alllllllll righty then:

Also, Jose Abreu did not hit a home run so the Royals still have more than him (although they only hit 11 home runs in April, their fewest in a month ever. SIGH, I miss Bo Jackson). 

You should also notice that the Royals scored 4 runs last night which automatically means they won. They are 14-0 when scoring 4; and 0-12 when scoring 3 or less. Most teams win if they score 4, so this is not unique to the Royals. In fact, the Royals record last year when scoring 4 or more was 64-13, which is pretty crazy. 

Bruce Chen has been scratched from his next start due to an ongoing injury, which should force the Royals to call up either John Lamb or Sugar Ray Marimon to take his place. I hope Sugar Ray is called up because he has an awesome name and John Lamb sucks. Jeremy Guthrie takes the mound tonight, which scares me a little as the Blue Jays will be hungry to avoid a sweep and avenge the loss of Melky Cabrera. I wouldn’t be surprised to see a little bean ball and several home runs tonight.

    

I hope the Royals sweep the Blue Jays back to Canada, but also would enjoy seeing some fights since there have not been many in the NHL playoffs so far.