Niners need love too

As the 2020 Valentine's Day nears, it is important for us all to remember everyone in our lives that is worthy of love and affection. This includes:

• Grandparents
• Parents
• Children
• Sibling(s)
• Aunts/Uncles/Cousins
• Neighbors
• Your middle school science teacher who gave you detention for chewing gum in class
• And the 49ers players and their fans

The last one is tough to show love to as they have been the saltiest group of humans in world history. Not everyone can win the Super Bowl (y'all already have won FIVE of them for goodness sake!) but here we are 9 days after the CHIEFS BECAME WORLD CHAMPIONS and the 49ers and their fans are changing the meaning of the phrase "Would you like fries with that?" As in, "y'all want some fries with that salt you crybabies?"

Regardless of whether George Kittle had OPI, whether Nick Bosa was held, whether the first Damien Williams TD was inbounds or not, YOU STILL HAD A 10-POINT LEAD WITH LESS THAN 7 MINUTES TO PLAY IN THE SUPER BOWL AND YOU BLEW IT. And you blew it royally because you LOST BY 11 POINTS. Accept your fate. You suck you losers.

I digress. This is about love not how stupid the Niners are. And thus, I present to you some #NinersValentines for the 49ers players and fans in your life. You may choose to also send some #ChiefsValentines their way too. Happy Valentine's!

Kyle Shanahan has lots of time for you, LOL

Richard Sherman will keep you in his sights. Literally.

LOL

Jimmy G may or may not throw your love away

No one feels sorry for Nick Bosa

OPI means "Oh Please be mIne"

A Valentines Day for Champions

It is that time of year...love is in the air. The Midwest is cold as February "heats up". AND THE KANSAS CITY CHIEFS ARE WORLD CHAMPIONS.

Sorry for yelling but really, how often does one get to type "THE KANSAS CITY CHIEFS ARE WORLD CHAMPIONS!"? Not often. So you can bet your bottom I will be taking liberties with that phrase as much as possible in this post.

Anyway, the WORLD CHAMPION KANSAS CITY CHIEFS recently won the Super Bowl, making them CHAMPIONS OF THE WORLD, and they deserve all the love we can muster here in #ChiefsKingdom. Kudos to Andy Reid and Co., the CHAMPIONS OF THE WORLD. What a fantastic game that was replete with a third 10-point comeback in as many playoff games from the WORLD CHAMPION CHIEFS. Anyone who counted them out surely now feels like a complete tool, considering the WORLD CHAMPION CHIEFS won every one of their playoff games by double-digits after being behind by double-digits in every single one of them. Y'all ain't gonna doubt them anymore are ya?!?!?!

I digress. A few years ago, I made some Royals Valentines to commemorate THE WORLD CHAMPION KANSAS CITY ROYALS, which seemed to be pretty popular (even the KC Star picked them up!). So naturally, I thought the WORLD CHAMPION KANSAS CITY CHIEFS deserved the same treatment. I apologize in advance for the more PG-13 rated ones - it is NOT my fault some of the Chiefs players have suggestive names and nicknames. Enjoy! The WORLD CHAMPION KANSAS CITY CHIEFS sure had a great time at their parade, so you should have some fun with these WORLD CHAMPION Valentines - send them to everyone you know, especially Raiders, Donkeys, and Chargers fans who all have been missing a WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP in their lives.

 Mr. MVP of everything wants your heart

The Landlord collects rent from everyone but you

Dame Dash, the real Super Bowl MVP, will run to your heart

The best part of the Super Bowl Parade LMAO

Find you someone to love like Kelce loves Lombardi (and partying)

Y'all remember when the Chiefs muffed a punt vs the Titans and Dustin had to throw the ball away? Well he won't do that with your love!

Greatest backup QB in football

Greatest Coach (and cheeseburger eater) in football

Dirty Dan! He saved the day against Houston, and therefore deserves your love

LMAO Dee Ford can suck it

Greatest play in NFL history (besides 65 Toss Power Trap)

Let the doc fix your heart

His name says it all lmao

HIS name says it all LMAO

Ballers be ballin'

Sammy the Lizard King! Unsung Super Bowl hero...

Kendall Fuller was a BEAST in the SB

Chris Jones soda is sweet as summer love

Big Fish! So many puns LOL

Sausage. 'Nuff said.

 T-Sizzle!

The Buttkicker wants your love

No pressure(s) allowed. Literally. LOL

I just called, to say...

 If Mike Pennel can stop Derrick Henry, he can stop your love from running away

Happy Valentine's Day to the WORLD CHAMPION KANSAS CITY CHIEFS!

From IV to LIV

 Real writers write because they want to, not because they have to (with the exception of Fyodor Dostoyevsky, who literally had to write a novel in 4 weeks or be banished to prison forever). As such, I have been wanting to write about the Chiefs being in the Super Bowl for basically all of my life, and finally, after 37 years, my wish has been granted (I’m a writer now!). 

What’s that? You think 37 years makes me old?! Well I am nowhere near as old as the Chiefs Super Bowl drought, which turned 50 years old just 19 days ago. Fifty years of nothing. In that same span, the hapless Kansas City Royals have played in FOUR (4) World Series, winning two (2) of those. And the Kansas City Wizards/Sporting KC have won two (2) MLS championships and four (4) US Open Cup titles in an even shorter time period (24 years). We used to think the Royals were a marker of futility (a 30-year playoff drought will do that to you), but If you really think about it, the Chiefs have been the biggest losers of KC. I do not say that lightly. I have been the biggest Chiefs fan I know my entire life, with the exception of my father, a former Season Ticket Member (STM). 

For example, during the Chiefs’ Bono/Grbac/Gannon years, I would attend Sunday church services with my family that would run from 9:15 to 10:30 am, which would normally get me home in time to turn on the Chiefs pregame television show at 11am. The show featured player interviews and a plethora of interesting stats and was Must-See TV for a devoted fan like me. On Sundays when Pastor Ted or Pastor Lieb were feeling extra feisty and extended their sermon, I would sometimes miss the beginning of the pregame show, resulting in lots of anger and disbelief in a God Who Cared About the Chiefs. (seriously, what Pastor would keep his flock from watching an interview with Hall of Fame running back Marcus Allen in which he discusses his favorite offseason hobbies? The audacity to make us miss that!). As a young teenager, my dream car in those days was a Ford Mustang painted Chiefs red, which I was planning to proudly drive everywhere while donning head-to-toe Chiefs gear (in case you were wondering, no, I never did get that Chiefs red Mustang, but I did drive a maroon Ford Ranger which I used to tailgate at Chiefs games numerous times so suck it haters). 

Speaking of Chiefs tailgates, one of my favorite life stories is when I was 18 years old my friend Ryan and I went to the Chiefs-49ers preseason game at Arrowhead Stadium. The date was August 13, 2000. The Chiefs were 0-1. Ryan and I sat in the back of my Maroon Ford Ranger drinking Dr. Pepper and eating Flamin’ Hot Cheetos. There was a tailgate next to us with folks drinking wine coolers and beer and having a grand ol’ time. They went inside the stadium before us and said we could take any beer we wanted from their cooler. Ryan and I looked at each other, devilish grins across our faces, thought for a second, then I announced “No way will I ever tarnish my body by consuming alcoholic beverages. This body is a TEMPLE.” To this day I forever regret not holding myself to that because if I had never drank a drop of alcohol in my life I would certainly be a millionaire LMAO.

I digress. 

It’s been fifty (50) years since the Chiefs have seen the big game. There are a million storylines to follow, which I may dive into in another post if I get time, but briefly here are some notable things to keep an eye on:

• The Chiefs are riding an 8-game winning streak, including the playoffs. Their last loss was Nov. 10 against the Titans., The 49ers have won 4 straight.
•  The Chiefs’ end zone at the Super Bowl is painted yellow (below). They are 3-0 this season with yellow endzones, having beat Baltimore, the Texans, and the Titans
•  Patrick Mahomes has thrown 11 TDs to zero (0) interceptions in his brief playoff career
•  The 49ers have a slight edge vs the Chiefs all time, with an overall record of 7-6. However, the Chiefs have won 3 of the last 4 meetings, including Patrick Mahomes home debut as a starting QB in the NFL, and have outscored the 49ers 274 to 245 all time.

Let's go Chiefs!

The night before the AFCCG...

12 Days of Chiefsmas, 2019

Ahhhh, Chiefsmas Eve has arrived.

Sit back, kick your feet back (watch the world get bushwacked), and enjoy Santa's birthday. Lol, jk, I know we are really celebrating Rudolph's birthday.

The 2019 Chiefs season has been a glorious affair, filled with lots of ups (Tyrann Mathieu beasting out on defense, Travis Kelce setting all time NFL records) and some ugly downs (Mahomes' dislocated kneecap, and how did this team lose to the Colts?!), and has culminated in a 4th straight division title, 5th straight playoff season, 7th straight winning season, and another beautiful season from reigning MVP Patrick Mahomes.

As per my annual tradition, below are the 12 Days of Chiefsmas to commemorate this wonderful ride, complete with a short video. Merry Chiefsmas to all!

On the 12th Day of Chiefsmas, the Chiefs gave to me:

On the 11th Day of Chiefsmas, Chris Jones gave to me:

On the 10th Day of Chiefsmas, the Chiefs gave to me:

On the 9th Day of Chiefsmas, the Chiefs offense gave to me:

(D-Rob, Sammy, Tyreek, Hardman, Pringle, Kelce, Williams, McCoy, and Williams)

On the 8th Day of Chiefsmas, Patrick gave to me:

On the 7th Day of Chiefsmas, Andy Reid gave to me:

(Andy Reid has 7th most victories in NFL history with 205, currently)

On the 6th Day of Chiefsmas, the Chiefs offense gave to me:

(Never forget Kelce running in the GW score in the Wildcat vs NE)

On the 5th Day of Chiefsmas, the Chiefs gave to me:

(Chiefs locked up the division and a playoff spot with a win against OAK)

On the 4th Day of Chiefsmas, Kansas City gave to me:

(The AFC West record is 5 straight set by Denver - KC is almost there!)

On the 3rd Day of Chiefsmas, the Chiefs defense gave to me:

(Suck a big fat fart Tom)

On the 2nd Day of Chiefsmas, the Chiefs offense gave to me:

(Matt Moore was admirable when filling in for Mahomes - 4 TDs and 0 INTs)

On the 1st Day of Chiefsmas, the Chiefs defense gave to me:

(Juan Thornhill has really shown his talent!)

And putting them all together with music!

Happy Holidays to all!