K-Men, Volume 6: The New Guys

After accumulating enough talent and power to take the K-Men within mere feet of defeating the most evil team in the universe, Professor M and Ned Yost returned this year with a passion, a desire to rid the world of all that is malevolent. To prepare for that, they looked for any weaknesses the K-Men might have, and set out to address those weaknesses. Their search produced the following new members of the K-Men:

Christian Colon, who was drafted by Professor M in 2010. After several years of developing his skills, he became a member of the K-Men in 2014, scoring the winning run in their memorable Playoff Battle against the Oakland A's. Colon serves as a remarkable sidekick for the K-Men and is the backup for Moose, Escobar, and Omar Infante. His versatility is remarkable.

Paulo Orlando spent 10 years developing his speed and skills before joining the K-Men this year. He was named the fastest runner on numerous teams, which is evident when watching him with the K-Men as he simply soars around the bases.

Kendrys Morales was brought in to replace Billy Butler, an old member of the K-Men. Morales has filled in admirably for Butler, wielding tremendous power with his bat and bringing fear to opponents.

Chris Young had once been a huge asset but had been left for dead until Professor M gave him a call and invited him to try out for the K-Men this year. He has not disappointed and has become much-feared as the tallest player in all of The League, which gives him the ability to throw deceiving pitches to opponents that they simply flail at.

Ryan Madson was also left for dead until Professor M resurrected his career with an invite for try out for the K-Men. Madson has the strength of a thousand men and the tenacity of a thousand bull dogs. He has become a colossal weapon in the already terrifying bullpen.

Finally, Edinson Volquez was added to the K-Men this year. He has been a leader and is known for his fury on the mound.

These are the K-Men and together they will fight to rid evil and rule The League!

K-Men, Volume 5: The Supporting Cast

The K-Men were now a solid team with few weaknesses. But Professor M was not done. He knew he needed to accumulate as much talent and power as he could in order for the K-Men to be able to defeat evil for years to come. He put his mind back to work, eager to seek and find individuals who possessed superpowers that could complement the rest of the K-Men. This is what he found:

Kelvin Herrera came to the K-Men in 2011 but broke out in 2012. He has tremendous strength that translates into the hardest thrown pitches the universe has ever seen. In addition, he has the ability to channel his emotions into fear. As a result, he is among the most formidable members of the K-Men, and opponents cower when they face him:

Omar Infante was signed by Professor M in 2013 to provide reliability, quickness and agility for the K-Men. He is fearless and loyal.

Luke Hochevar had been a member of the K-Men since 2006. Professor M had trouble developing his immense talent for several years, but finally realized that he should be added to the K-Men's deadly bullpen, which already consisted of Saveman, Wade Davis The Punisher, and Kelvin Herrera. Papa Hoch had a good relationship with Eric Hosmer at first base and was well-suited for defeating opponents with his tremendous array of pitches.

With pinpoint accuracy and good control, Jeremy Guthrie was picked up by Professor M in 2012 to resurrect his career using the stellar defense that the K-Men already possessed. It was a perfect match.

The K-Men's opponents would not sleep well at night knowing they might face the strength of Kelvin, the quickness of Omar, the vast display of skill from Luke, and the accuracy of Guthrie. It was a time of wealth and goodness for the K-Men, a time that would only get better...

K-Men, Volume 4: A Pair of Stars Rise

In 2010, Professor M hired Ned Yost to manage the K-Men. Opponents laughed at the move and The City wondered if Ned could lead the K-Men to victory.The real question was if The City was ready for Ned and his own superpowers.

Ned had a brilliant mind, and a penchant for strategic moves that would slowly break down opponents, forcing them to yield to the strengths and powers of the K-Men.

At Ned's disposal was the ferocity of Saveman, the blazing speed of Jarrod Dyson, the laser arm of Alex Gordon, and like a Grand Chess Master, Yost could use these weapons at his will. He had a wealth of superpowers at his disposal, and he would become much-feared among his competitors. The simple flick of his wrist calling upon one of his weapons to be activated could bring destruction to all but the strongest opponents.

One of Ned's tasks was to develop an extremely gifted young man by the name of Salvador Perez. "Salvy" debuted for the K-Men in 2011. He made an immediate impact because he could seemingly do everything, including hit for power, play phenomenal defense, come through in the clutch, and perhaps most importantly, prevent opponents from stealing bases.

Salvy became one of the biggest heroes in the history of the K-Men when he had the game-winning hit in their first major playoff battle since 1985. With that hit, he became immortalized as an American hero, and will go down in history as one of the greatest K-Men ever. His only weakness, his kryptonite, if you will, is that he is vulnerable to the wear and tear that comes with playing for the K-Men as much as possible.

Additionally, Ned was tasked with developing Eric Hosmer, another outstanding talent who also debuted with the K-Men in 2011. Hosmer had been drafted by Professor M with lots of hope resting on his shoulders to carry the K-Men forward. He had been an All-American, and would now be counted on to use his tremendous power, agility and reflexes to defeat evil. Those trio of skills have earned him the nickname Wizard of Hoz.

Hosmer is one of the most staunch defenders of the K-Men, giving the group a legitimate star and potential candidate for the George Brett award, given annually to the Greatest In The Universe.

The K-Men now had a manager, a leader, two rising stars, and a stockpile of weapons. They were ready to start defending the Universe against all evil. It was time to #BeRoyal.

K-Men, Volume 3: Amassing Power

Professor M needed to complete his plan to make the K-Men the greatest set of individuals in the universe. He would not be satisfied until the K-Men had defeated all evil.Their opponents simply had too much talent and too many powers for the K-Men to feel comfortable. So Professor M would not rest. He reached into the deep recesses of his endowed cognition and sought individuals with outstanding skills and abilities:

Jarrod Dyson was drafted by Professor M in 2006. Considered a long-shot to make the K-Men, the Professor decided to focus on developing Dyson’s blazing speed to enhance the K-Men. Dyson’s speed simply could not be taught; it was an inherent superpower that only the most gifted beings possess. 

Dyson could call upon that speed to provide a boost to the K-Men whenever they needed it, and since their opponents did not have the same powers, the K-Men suddenly grew in power. 

Their talents were only beginning to grow, as the following year Professor M drafted Mike Moustakas. “Moose” was heralded as one of the most frightening hitters of his generation, a man whose superpower was striking fear in the hearts of opposing pitchers. They would see Mike at the plate and his bat would seem larger than life. 

But Moose had another superpower, one that Professor M kept hidden until he debuted with the K-Men in 2011. It was the power of phenomenal defense, and Moose had the ability to defend the K-Men with reckless abandon and a tenacity that drove fear into opponents’ hearts and minds. Nothing, not even fire, could stop Moose from defending the K-Men...

The K-Men now knew that they could conquer any foe simply by outlasting them on defense. It was an incredible transformation wrought from the unique transmissions among the synapses in Professor M’s mind. The Plan was nearing completion. All they needed was someone to manage them...

K-Men, Volume 2: The Weapon Revolution

In 2012, Professor M pulled a move that created shockwaves around The League. He traded away Wil Myers, Jake Odorizzi and two prospects for James Shields and Wade Davis. Many scoffed at Professor M’s move, disregarding him as a joke, or even worse, a citizen of Detroit, the worst city in the entire universe. Professor M ignored the naysayers and stayed true to his Plan. The K-Men would not be complete without Shields and Davis.

Davis had a rocky career leading to the trade, but Professor M saw his potential. He also knew that Shields could transform his clubhouse into a winner. No longer would the K-Men be at the mercy of their foes. The pieces had been put in place to create a winning group from the core that Professor M started. The revolution of the K-Men had begun…

Shields no longer occupies a spot with the K-Men, but Davis has stepped up and begun a one-man war on opponents. Tough as nails and unforgiving, he poses a ferocious presence when he pitches. He has not allowed a home run since 2013, which might be due to his vicious countenance on the mound:

Those who dare attempt to defeat Davis and the K-Men usually fail. He simply has too large an arsenal at his command. His superpower is simply overpowering any opponent. It would be prudent to avoid him at all costs.

In addition to adding Davis to the K-Men, Professor M used his brilliant mind to traverse the global neurosphere and identify the next weapon he could add to his Organization of Gifted Athletes. What he found was Yordano Ventura, a youngster from the Dominican Republic. By 2013, Professor M’s strategy of developing young athletes had worked to perfection and Ventura debuted for the K-Men. Despite his small stature, Ventura brings a huge personality and the hottest arm in The League to the K-Men. 

In fact, Ventura averages the highest pitch velocity in all of The League, an astounding feat. Ventura literally throws fire, a superpower that is unequaled in the history of The League. 

Professor M had now created a core group of K-Men, and had added several weapons to its roster. Could the K-Men compete with everyone in The League? Or were more superpowers needed? Fortunately, Professor M's Plan was not yet complete...

K-Men, Volume 1: Birth of the Core

It was a cold day in December 3 years ago, when Professor M made his first bold move. He swapped a young man with all of the potential in the world for a set of men with tremendous skills and powers which would eventually give rise to the birth of the K-Men. This is the beginning of their story:

Alex Gordon was drafted by Professor M in 2005. After a tumultuous start to his career, he finally realized the potential of his powers and has become the undisputed leader of the K-Men.

His special powers include his laser-like throws to stop opposing players, as well as unequaled athleticism. His foes do not dare look him in they eye, lest he throw them out.

He also is well-loved by women, and is a known lady killer when his eyes are exposed:

Greg Holland came next, in 2007. Once he made it onto the K-Men roster in 2010, he has become lights out, a bloodthirsty killer on the mound. The strong, silent type, his powers include a dangerous arsenal of pitches designed to make even the best opponents wince.

His nickname is the Saveman, but he only saves the K-Men.

Professor M made his next great move soon after getting Saveman. This time he traded a cool but wicked pitching wizard (Zack Greinke) for two young guys, Alcides Escobar and Lorenzo Cain. Under the tutelage of Professor M and his circle of advisors, both Escobar and Cain have flourished, often flashing their esteemed skill and power to the delight of fans.

Escobar has powers unparallelled powers of defense, often seeming to appear out of thin air to snatch basehits from opponents.

He can vanish into the dark of the night, leaving only a cloud of smoke before returning stealthily to steal from those who try to defeat the K-Men.

Cain exhibits superhuman capabilities while patrolling the outer edges of the K-Men's fortress. It has often been said that the earth's oceans cover 2/3rds of the planet, while Cain covers the other 1/3rd.

He can be seen chillin' like a villain while defending the K-Men.

Together, Gordon, Holland, Escobar and Cain make up the core of the K-Men. And together, they fight to avenge their devastating loss suffered at the hands of their archenemy, the Giants of San Fancisco. They will not rest until they have avenged their loss. They will not allow injustice to be served to their brethren. They are the K-Men and they are #ForeverRoyal.

Lonnie, you gotta go

Last night the Royals defeated the Indians for the 3rd time in the 4 games they have played against their AL Central foe. I’m not going to lie, it was a fairly boring game. After 2 first inning home runs (one each from the Indians and Royals), which made the score 3-2 in favor of the Good Guys, the rest of the game was essentially a pitcher’s duel which lasted until the 8th inning when Lonnie Chisenhall did what no other player has done since July 26, 2013, namely, hit a home run off of Kelvin Herrera.

Herrera’s streak without allowing a home run was a Royal’s franchise record. He lasted 105 1/3 innings without allowing a single ball over the fence. What an outstanding feat. In case you were wondering, the MLB record for consecutive innings pitched without allowing a HR is 269.1, set by Greg Minton of the San Francisco Giants between 1979 and 1982. Wade Davis of the Royals is currently on pace to break Herrera’s team record as he sits at 92 1/3 innings. If you have watched Davis pitch at all in the last 2 seasons, you know that record will be shattered BECAUSE TEAMS RARELY EVEN GET HITS AGAINST HIM, MUCH LESS HOME RUNS. 

So Lonnie Chisenhall becomes a footnote in Royals’ history. I really dislike Lonnie and his egregious facial hair, and decided to come up with a list of reasons why Lonnie has got to go: 

• Lonnie rocks the trash patch. Get outta here with that thing

• Look at this Fu Manchu on Lonnie’s face. He has got to go

• Is that a goatee or did Lonnie trip and fall on an un-swept barbershop floor? Get out

• Lonnie, you have a weasel on your face. GTFO

• Lonnie’s home run off Herrera was no-doubt. GET. OUT. OF. HERE. (like your stupid home run) 

The Royals continue their series against the Indians tonight and will bring Danny Duffy to the mound. Duffy had a phenomenal start in his last outing against the Tigers and hopefully will continue that tonight. And hopefully Lonnie Chisenhall stops ruining perfectly good Royals' records...