Capt. Redbeard, the Pirate of the High Plains

After Johnny Cueto departed the Royals for the San Francisco Giants upon winning a World Series ring, the Royals were in dire need of starting pitching depth. They only had a somewhat unproven Yordano Ventura, an aging Chris Young, a shaky Danny Duffy, a somewhat rehabbing Kris Medlen and the steady Eddie Volquez, which was not a formidable set of pitchers by an means.

So this offseason, the Royals' GM Dayton Moore answered the call to add pitching depth by signing Ian Kennedy to a 4-year deal worth $70 million, which many lauded as a terrible move and poor signing. Everyone thought the Royals were overpaying for mediocrity and would regress this season. Guess what suckers? IAN KENNEDY DOESN'T SUCK. Even though it is a small sample size, take a look:

• Kennedy started his tenure with the Royals with 13 straight scoreless innings
• He has only allowed 3 runs in 20 innings (1.35 ERA)
• After 3 games, he has more strikeouts than Felix Hernandez, Clayton Kershaw, Max Scherzer, Jake Arrieta, Jon Lester, Corey Kluber, RA Dickey, and Johnny Cueto. On that list are 6 Cy Young winners
• He is the only National League pitcher to have at least 30 starts in the past 6 seasons 
• Oh, and the Royals are currently the third-best team in the AL

So put that in your pipe and smoke it you ignorant haters. Kennedy has looked very sharp so far and has added the ability to strike out batters to a pitching staff that normally relies on the amazing defense behind them to keep games close. As a result of his brilliant start for the Royals, Kennedy is thus in need of a nickname. Some have argued for Red Dawn, but I am here to present a case for Captain Redbeard. The evidence I present below will show that Kennedy is clearly a leader of the Royals who can aid aid them in victory while looking great in his red beard. The evidence will also show that the rest of the Royals look terrible in a red beard (with the exception of Wade Davis, who looks exactly the same no matter the color of his beard).

First of all, look at this handsome man at the helm of his Pirate Ship below. Kennedy seems to be saying "Arr, matey, I've come to plunder your hits and steal your batting average ye olde fools. Also, hide your women, as my beard has the power to make any woman fall in love with me."

Second of all, look at how terrible every one of the Royals looks in a red beard (or more specifically, Ian Kennedy's red beard, as I photoshopped his beard onto the whole team, plus coaches):

LoCain looks terrible in a beard

Ned looks like the type who would eat crumbs that fell into his beard. Esky looks awful in a beard

Dyson should never grow a beard, but Chris Young looks decent

Volquez looks so terrible with a beard, but Medlen can pull it off

Terrance Gore should never grow a beard, but Chien-Ming Wang looks kind of sophisticated with one

I think there is no more evidence needed to anoint Ian Kennedy as Capt. Redbeard, Pirate of the High Plains. Hopefully, he maintains his hot start and the Royals' offense starts kicking in.