The emasculation of the Tigers

Adios Detroit. Auf wiedersehen kitties. Peace out Motor City. Not only is your reign on the AL Central over, but your manhood was emphatically revoked last night when the Kansas City Royals spanked you so hard that it will leave a mark for weeks. 

Yordano Ventura and Lorenzo Cain led the charge on Detroit. Ventura threw 11 strikeouts for the second consecutive game, getting his 10th win of the season and only allowed 1 run (lowering his ERA to an almost respectable 4.24); Cain smashed a solo home run that has not landed yet and also knocked in 2 runs with a double. It was raining bombs all night as three other Royals hit home runs, including Ben Zobrist, Kendrys Morales, and Cheslor Cuthbert (his first major league home run). Paulo Orlando dropped in with a triple, and new Royal Jonny Gomes ripped a double in his first at bat for KC, all of that resulting in a 12-1 blowout. 

Yet through all of this slugging at the plate, my favorite part of the night was seeing Ventura locked in and dominating the Tigers, once a formidable foe, now simply another pebble on the road to the playoffs. Ventura was throwing 98 MPH all night, even hitting triple digits on a few occasions. At one point, all-star slugger Miguel Cabrera ran up a full count, then Ventura whipped a 99 MPH fastball in the upper corner of the strike zone. Cabrera watched it go by then argued the strike haplessly until he was ejected. What a douche. I wish I had a video of him arguing the call because he was shaking and whining like a baby. A grown man, reduced to tears over a heater in the strike zone. The Tigers are done, caput, finito. They have been emasculated and I have never been happier. 

Yordano Ventura gave Miguel Cabrera a whipping for the ages

That was certainly one of the best games I have watched as a fan. The win was #81 for the Royals, guaranteeing they will finish with at least a .500 record. The Royals go for the series win tonight, then take on the White Sox and Twins to round out this homestand. And before I go, please let me remind you that the Detroit Tigers are in last place. In case you did not fully comprehend that, I will repeat it: THE DETROIT TIGERS ARE IN LAST PLACE THE DETROIT TIGERS ARE IN LAST PLACE THE DETROIT TIGERS ARE IN LAST PLACE THE DETROIT TIGERS ARE IN LAST PLACE THE DETROIT TIGERS ARE IN LAST PLACE THE DETROIT TIGERS ARE IN LAST PLACE THE DETROIT TIGERS ARE IN LAST PLACE THE DETROIT TIGERS ARE IN LAST PLACE THE DETROIT TIGERS ARE IN LAST PLACE THE DETROIT TIGERS ARE IN LAST PLACE THE DETROIT TIGERS ARE IN LAST PLACE THE DETROIT TIGERS ARE IN LAST PLACE THE DETROIT TIGERS ARE IN LAST PLACE.

 Let’s Go Royals.