Bye Bye Billy

It has taken me awhile to process things and get over the World Series, but I think I am finally able to publicly state my complete and utter hatred for Madison Butthead and the San Francisco Giant Lucky Ducks. So here it is, Madison Butthead:

I HATE YOU

I wrote that in a font called Rockwell Extra Bold to indicate how boldly I hate you. I also wrote it in Royal Blue to indicate that I Royally hate your greasy hair and gi-normous nose. You are a fine pitcher but you did not win the National League MVP or Cy Young award and that is because you come from a gross dirty city and you are a total jerk. Instead of hogging all the World Series innings, maybe let someone else pitch ok?! Gawd I hate you.

I do not feel ready yet to analyze the World Series other than my hatred for the douche above, but I will chime in some thoughts on Billy Butler’s recent departure.

First of all, I think it was time for Billy to go. I loved every single player on the 2014 Royals’ team, but Billy but have been the one I loved the least. He was slow, hit into 21 double plays, had little power and was mostly worthless in the field. At only 28 years old, he was supposed to be in his prime, but as you will see below, his production is currently approaching Raul Ibanez levels.

Second, Billy entered the MLB as a First Round pick in 2004 and debuted in 2007. He had a slow but somewhat steady rise in various hitting categories up until 2010 or 2011 (depending on which categories you examine). For example, his home run totals increased his first 3 years then dropped off in 2010. His RBI totals had the same pattern. His batting average and slugging increased in 2010 despite a drop off in other areas. His generally slid down a bit in 2011 before having his phenomenal 2012, when he was the Royals’ lone All-Star and set career highs for home runs, RBI’s and slugging percentage. Since then? He has fell off the cliff. In 2014, he hit a full 20 fewer home runs than his career high, had the second fewest RBI’s since his second year in the league, had the lowest batting average of his career yet still had the fourth most strikeouts in one season in his 8 years in the MLB. He also hit into 21 double plays, further demonstrating his complete lack of speed and hustle.

Third, and this is a theme that I simply cannot get over, Billy HIT INTO 21 DOUBLE PLAYS in 2014, after hitting into 28 and 20 in the previous two years, respectively. That is 138 outs in just 69 at-bats! You SUCK! What a complete waste of an at-bat and someone getting on base in front of him. The KC Star columnist Lee Judge wrote a (very annoying) column about productive outs in baseball and guess what Billy? Grounding into double plays are basically the second LEAST PRODUCTIVE OUT you can make, besides hitting into a triple play (a feat that is basically so rare that through 2013, only 691 had occurred in the MLB since 1876, an average of only 5 triple plays per year). YOUR GROUNDING INTO DOUBLE PLAYS WILL NOT BE MISSED BILLY.

Lastly, I just want to mention that Oakland A’s GM Billy Beane said that Billy Butler will play first base versus lefthanded pitchers. Ha! The A’s are probably going to suck those days. I do think that Billy’s batting numbers will increase because Kauffman Stadium tends to suppress home runs, but I do not think Billy is worth the $10 million the A’s will be paying him. Based on his salary and numbers last year, each of Billy’s home runs in 2014 was worth $888,888.88 which is a considerable sum to pay for only 9 home runs. Bon Voyage Billy and best of luck in Oakland. Please bring your BBQ sauce with you.