***Please note, I had to edit the helmet nachos section below:
The Royals had their first walk off win of the 2014 season today. It was glorious. Omar Infante drove home Alex Gordon after Gordon walked and reached third base on an error by the Angels. It was not a pretty game, but the Royals held on and gutted out only their third win in the past eleven games. Lorenzo Cain had 4 hits (including a leadoff double that was followed by 2 strikeouts and a groundout – what a waste) and 2 RBI’s. Eric Hosmer left 6 men on base because he is terrible. They currently stand 3 games above .500 and gained a little ground on Detroit.
The Royals had their first walk off win of the 2014 season today. It was glorious. Omar Infante drove home Alex Gordon after Gordon walked and reached third base on an error by the Angels. It was not a pretty game, but the Royals held on and gutted out only their third win in the past eleven games. Lorenzo Cain had 4 hits (including a leadoff double that was followed by 2 strikeouts and a groundout – what a waste) and 2 RBI’s. Eric Hosmer left 6 men on base because he is terrible. They currently stand 3 games above .500 and gained a little ground on Detroit.
In honor of the Royals first walk-off win, I decided to do a
little Q & A:
Q. What are the
Royals estimated playoff chances right now?
A. According to my sources, the Royals chances of making the
playoffs is “maybe.” Two reasons for this: 1) The Tigers are beatable, and just
lost a series to the Astros. And, 2) Eric Hosmer is swinging like a blind man
trying to hit the world’s smallest piñata. The Royals need him to get out of
his slump in order to catch Detroit and win the AL Central.
Q. Did the Royals hit
a home run today?
A. LOL. No.
Q. Which Royals
should be traded before the July 31 trade deadline?
A. In no particular order, Mike Moustakas, Billy Butler,
Nori Aoki, and either Kelvin Herrera, Wade Davis, or Greg Holland. Moose, Billy
and Aoki are not playing well and are pretty much a waste of roster space, and
considering how well Herrerra/Davis/Holland have pitched the past two seasons,
trading at least one of them for a third basemen or right fielder who has a
decent bat would be a smart and logical thing to do. The Royals have been
blessed with great relievers but relievers are a dime a dozen and if the Royals
could beef up their offense they would not need such a solid bullpen as much.
Butler has a club option for next year, and would be owed like $12 million TO
NOT HIT HOME RUNS, so there is almost no way the Royals will exercise the
option and keep him. Might as well trade him, possibly in a package deal with
one of the relievers mentioned. Some have mentioned trading James Shields but
the Royals clearly are still in the race for the division title, and could use
his leadership and experience later in the season if they find themselves in
the thick of it come September.
Q. Is there any pitch
that Eric Hosmer won’t swing at, no matter how far from the strike zone it is???
A. LOL. No.
Q. Will the Royals
ever get nacho helmets?
A. I do not know and this is a serious issue that needs to
be addressed. For those of you living in Kansas City, please do something about
this. Petition owner David Glass. Boycott games until they are added to the
concession menu. Write your local congressperson. DO NOT REST UNTIL KANSAS
CITIANS CAN ENJOY HELMET NACHOS LIKE THE REST OF AMERICA.
***Astute reader and Royals fan Mitch Adams pointed out that the Royals do in fact have helmet nachos and have had them for a few years. This is fantastic news, and you may disregard my advice above and instead focus your efforts on SENDING ME SOME KANSAS CITY ROYALS HELMET NACHOS ASAP.
***Astute reader and Royals fan Mitch Adams pointed out that the Royals do in fact have helmet nachos and have had them for a few years. This is fantastic news, and you may disregard my advice above and instead focus your efforts on SENDING ME SOME KANSAS CITY ROYALS HELMET NACHOS ASAP.
Q. What is the
funniest thing you have seen today?
A. This screenshot, taken by twitter user @boxcar_fritz:
Hilarious. His caption for the screenshot was “Unprofessional.”
I disagree, and wish that all major corporations could be totally honest. For
example, they could openly declare their fetish for Mike Trout so I do not have to write novels about it.
Q. What do
you plan to do if the Royals make the playoffs?
A. Since I was born in 1982, I have never really seen the
Royals in the playoffs in my lifetime (too bad 3 year olds can’t form lasting
memories). So if the Royals make the playoffs this season (or whenever they
do), I think I will calmly take myself out for a nice steak dinner, down some
fancy scotch, and then BRAG ABOUT IT ON THE INTERNET FOR 3 MONTHS STRAIGHT.
Especially to my misguided friends who like the Minnesota Twins.
Q. And what do you
plan to do if the Royals don’t make the
playoffs?
A. There is nothing I can do except cry. I cannot break up with them because they are firmly
bonded into my soul, a bond that is stronger than marriage.
Q. Will
Nori Aoki get hit in the nuts again this season?
A. LOL. Probably.
No comments:
Post a Comment