This summer, I have had the fortune to visit, for the first time ever, the Kansas City Chiefs training camp. As a lifelong Chiefs fan who has suffered through Elvis Grbac, Lin Elliot, Matt Cassel, and numerous playoff meltdowns AND STILL REMAINED A FAN, you might be asking why has it taken so long to attend my favorite NFL teams training camp.
The answer is... I don't know. I'VE BEEN BUSY OK. Sheesh.Not to mention that the NFL is becoming a garbage product that is more invested in its own profits than protecting its players, which makes it zero fun to watch. However, I, along with 80,000+ Kansas Citians, bleed red and live and die with the Chiefs each week, and I am very glad to have finally seen their training camp.
Additionally, I was able to attend the Denver Donkeys training camp this summer as well. As a result, I thought it would be fun to compare the two and determine which team hosts a better experience for fans (Spoiler Alert: it is not the Donkeys, but you already knew that). So below you will find my analysis, complete with pictures and in-depth, unbiased (ha!) reporting, followed by a table of comparisons:
*please note, I will provide the poop emoji 💩
to indicate frustrating components of the fan experience, and green check mark ✔️ to indicate positives of the fan experience
I will start with Denver. I attended the Donkeys camp on Monday, July 30, which happened to be their 3rd practice. The team's camp was held in the southeastern suburbs of Denver, about a 20 minute drive away into the industrial section of "D-town". There was nothing spectacular about the drive there, but you do avoid the dreaded I-25 highway.
Upon arriving to the medical/industrial suburban complex where the camp is located, police were blocking every entrance except one (💩), presumably to direct traffic. I had to turn around (💩) to get to the correct entrance. Parking was free (✔️), but you had to drive down a dirt and gravel road to get to the parking area (💩).
After snapping a few photos of the area with bae, I made my way to the training camp fields, passing a pop up team store and physical team store in the process. The team store was part of a building that housed the indoor training field, which was pretty nice inside (✔️). Security checked bags at the entrance, handed me a single piece of thick stock paper with the Donkeys roster on it, then fans were free to walk around.
The Donkeys fields were side-by-side, with one major viewing area and no bleachers for fans. You pretty much had to sit on a grassy berm to watch the practice (💩). Music was blasting on speakers and it was terrible. I only recognized on song, which was by 3 Doors Down or Nickelback (or some other crappy band in that vein), and most of what they played was hip hop garbage (💩💩). Interestingly, the
Donkeys website basically informs you that you will be seated in direct sunlight, which is a terrible thing to be exposed to when you are a mile closer to the sun. Idiots (💩). They did provide sunblock in a mobile kiosk, which was nice, especially if you forgot to bring some yourself (✔️). Bathrooms were part of the building hosting the team store and indoor field.
Outside the fields, there was a short walkway with several tents hosting activities for kids and families, which ranged from using a pushpin to indicate where you (the Donkeys fan) were from on a map, a local oil change company providing trading cards of the team, and a booth where you could have your caricature drawn with John Elway's horse teeth (💩).
Just kidding about that last one. Thankfully. Those teeth are hideous.
And that was about there was to the training camp. I did not stick around to see the players signing autographs, but I did walk into the team store with bae, who bought an item for her (severely misguided) stepmother, who is a Donkeys fan. The person at the register told bae she was "wearing the wrong colors", to which she replied "YOU'RE wearing the wrong colors beee-yatch." Just kidding. She was polite. (Me on the other hand,
well, I was not so polite, although I did get a kick out of the replies to that tweet). On to the Chiefs...
Me and bae attended the Chiefs training camp on Sunday, August 12, which happened to be their 18th practice. The team's camp is held in St. Joe, Missouri (birthplace of the Pony Express!), about an hour's drive north of KC. The drive was scenic (no traffic! ✔️), plus you have the option of stopping at Casey's General Store for some pizza (✔️).
The camp is held at Missouri Western State University (proud alum - Go Griffs!). Because school was not in session, and it was a Sunday, campus was dead, which made for a nice little drive around the tiny campus to the parking lot in front of the training camp area. Upon arriving, you are greeted by a sign.
Parking is $5 (💩), but you are very close to the training camp fields and staff members are zipping around on golf carts (zipping for real - keep an eye out for these dudes lest they run over your feet) who pick you up and drive you to the entrance (✔️), saving you a grand total of maybe 45 steps. 'MERICA! According to the
Chiefs website, fans are encouraged to tailgate (✔️✔️!), and me and bae certainly took advantage of that, partially because I am trying to convert her into a full-time Chiefs fan.
After a few minutes of tailgating, we hitched a ride from the zipping golf cart maniacs, snapped some pics of the entrance of the training camp, marveled at the sparkling new video board and
Bill Snyder Pavilion on the MWSU field, then made our to the camp itself. To get there, we passed the family events, which take place on the MWSU field (what a cool way to involve families! ✔️), then you are forced to go through a pop-up tent holding the team store. Cool idea, but not as fun as the air conditioned team store in Donkeyland (💩). Upon exiting the team store, you were able to approach the myriad of activities going on: booths with Chiefs staff members giving information and ENTIRE magazine-style booklets for the roster and training camp info (✔️), tents with food, including breakfast items (✔️), Chiefs cheerleaders and the KC Wolf walking around taking photos with fans (✔️), those headless Chiefs players things outside of Arrowhead on game days that you can take weird awkward photos with (✔️), and multiple areas to sit and watch the players INCLUDING WITH REAL LIVE BLEACHERS (take notes Donkos) (✔️✔️✔️).
The Chiefs fields are also side-by-side, and surrounded by woods, which gives you the feeling of sitting in some isolated fantasy world, with the heroes being Eric Berry and Patrick Mahomes instead of Queen Elsa or
Fornite heroes. During their practice, I watched some red zone stands, some special teams plays, and then the QB challenge, which involved the team's QB's throwing footballs at targets. Travis Kelce, Tyreek Hill, and Kareem Hunt decided to get in on the challenge, which was fun to watch, although it is apparent that despite being a PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALLER, Tyreek Hill has no idea how to throw a football. The Chiefs also had a hill where fans could sit and watch the team, but the grass was gone. No matter, you could easily SIT ON THE BLEACHERS, unlike Donkeys fans. Also, the Chiefs had banners and flags everywhere, but the Donkeys mainly just had some small banners of John Elway and some retirement service. Fart noise.
Music was also blaring during practice. The Chiefs had a similar version of mostly hip-hop music going, but the key difference from the Donkeys was that KC Wolf was out there dancing (✔️), which you need to see before you die. I was not able to see the Chiefs indoor facility while there (💩).
The family-friendly items on the MWSU field included a football throwing game, and several inflatable bouncy castles and obstacle courses (✔️✔️). Way more than what the Donkeys provided, although they did not provide free sunblock. Bathrooms were portapottys. Blah.
And that was it. Awesome stuff. Below is a table for comparing the two training camps. As you can see, the Chiefs outscored the Donkeys 7-0 in my completely unbiased assessment. Have a wonderful day and thanks for reading!
